Saturday, February 16, 2008

MUFFIN PUFFIN

Would you let yourself be called MUFFIN PUFFIN on national television?? I will DEFINITELY be giving him grief the next time I see him.

A little (very little) Church humor

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute.

The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."

During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."

At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner." And that is how the substitute became the regular organist.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Stupid-ass made up words

I am getting quite sick of Jake Tapper and all the other news morons making up words such as “Obamentum” when referring to Barrack Obama. They are just getting silly and giddy adding O-B-A in front of ANY word that begins with an M.

Before you know it, you’ll be hearing:

  • Tell Obamama that daddy said he’s going to be late.
  • I want Obamacaroni & cheese for dinner.
  • Oh my god, the town will be destroyed if it’s hit by that Obameteorite!

What's next?? I’ll tell you what’s next; they’ll start branching out to other letters of the alphabet or words that contain an M anywhere in the word as in:
  • If Barrack keeps winning delegates, he will surely win the Obamination.

This will all stop of course, when Al Gore quits goofing off and enters the race to save the Democratic party and The Country.

How to develop your brain

Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the lowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Friday, February 08, 2008

The Tooth Fairy

Now for the rest of the story...

So after all the commotion & drama on Wednesday with losing the tooth, we got a call that evening from the school -- one of the teachers had the after-school kids scrounging around the floor on their hands & knees until they found Isabel's missing tooth.
Isabel and her tooth were re-united yesterday. She was so excited and proud. She put it under her pillow as soon as she got home - she wasn't going to take ANY chances on losing that tooth again. In addition to the tooth, she also left this portrait of The Tooth Fairy under her pillow.

She was beyond thrilled this morning to find a Sacagawea dollar & a glittery note from The Tooth Fairy under her pillow. Now she's trying to decide what to do with her dollar. I tried to convince her to invest in real estate, but she said, "Daddy, I don't need to buy another house, because I'm always going to live here."

So cute, sweet and innocent.

I'm writing this all down because I'm going to want to remind her of this when she's a teenager.












Wednesday, February 06, 2008

How many times can you lose a tooth

Isabel has been waiting for a tooth to get loose. All of her friends have lost teeth; several teeth in fact.

When I noticed a loose one last night she was thrilled. She was supposed to be in bed but kept getting out of bed with stall tactics. Her intent was to stay up until Daddy got home from pottery to share the news. It worked and she was able to show him the wobbly tooth.

The next morning she couldn't wait for it to fall out. After a long explanation about how it could take a long time before it actually falls out...it fell out...today, in school, while she was walking down the hall.

Her teacher gave her a tooth necklace to hold the tooth and keep it safe until she got home. Unfortunately, the top of the necklace is not very tight.

She lost her tooth, AGAIN, in art class.

Her teacher, Ms. Bloom, wrote a note to the tooth fairy.


Another teacher, Ms. Mullinax, cut out a tooth-shaped replacement tooth and wrote a note on it for the Tooth Fairy. Isabel lost the cut out on the way home.
So Mommy cut out another one and tried to remember what Ms. Mullinax had written.




Isabel is finally convinced that this is sufficient for the tooth fairy. (I was afraid she was going to insist on getting it notarized)

To say she is estatic would be an understatement. The sides of the teeth next to the one that fell out have never been cleaner.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Etta Belle Zorries

Etta Belle's has reopened on the web! Please take a moment to visit Mary Anna's shop on Etsy. Etsy is an online marketplace for hand-crafted items!

Check it out: www.ettabellezorries.etsy.com

Tell your friends!

Friday, February 01, 2008

Wicked Itchy

A yankee friend of mine was telling me how she used to get hives when she was stressed and how they were wicked itchy. I missed most of the rest of her story because I fixated on "wicked itchy." It's fun to say. Go ahead, try it. I think it would make a good name for a heavy metal band.